Written by queen mudder
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Topics: London 2012, CIA

Wednesday, 25 July 2012

image for Parking furor over US Olympic Security's billion-dollar rapid response HQ
The scene at Barking's Olympic VIP-Only traffic lane today

London - It's designed to be scrambled at a moment's notice and uses high-tech electronic wizardry not seen outside the Pentagon's International Space Station Olympic command centre.

This morning the existence of the CIA's secret mobile London HQ was accidentally revealed when Barking High Street traffic wardens ticketed the billion-dollar special purpose vehicle for parking in a Games VIPs Only traffic lane.

US Olympics security desk chief Marvin P Knucklebuster III takes up the story, overheard by a surreptitiously concealed QM-NewsCorpse stringer disguised as Barking pest control officer Heidi Holle:

"WTF you *!!**++!!*-ing assholes think you're *!!**++!!*-ing doing?" an ad-hoc translation states.

"Want a taste of some extraordinary rendition to the local landfill for anti-American control freakery?"

Meanwhile frontline back-up for guarding US athletes, dignitaries and Michelle Obama has been outed as headquartered in London's fabulous five-star Slumming It Towers Hotel at Canary Wharf.

The luxurious state-of-the-art hotel easily outranks other London establishments hosting foreign security staff such as the Isle of Dogs' Dog and Duck Inn [currently used by the KGB], the Diamond Jubilee Grovel Lodge [Hellfire Club and Illuminati] and Wapping's famous Murdoch Arms YMCA [don't ask!]

London Mayor Boris Johnson is 69.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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