Written by Ellis Ian Fields
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Tuesday, 24 July 2012

image for Professor Green, Elton John And Queen Star At Centre Of Rock Heirarchy Row

Some of Britain's top pop and rock stars are at the centre of a row over heirarchy following publication of a letter about music piracy in a national newspaper.

The letter to the Daily Telegraph is signed by pop mogul Simon Cowell, Roger Daltrey and Pete Townshend of The Who, rappers Professor Green and Tinie Tempah, Sir Elton John, Lord Lloyd-Webber, Robert Plant (Led Zeppelin), and Dr Brian May and Roger Taylor (Queen).

It calls for more action to tackle the illegal copying and distribution of music and the implementation of measures contained in the Digital Economy Act, 2010.

But following the publicaton there has been a falling-out concerning the heirarchy of the signatories. They have been published in alphbetical order - headed by Simon Cowell and ending with Pete Townshend.

Sources nothing like close to Andrew Lloyd-webber reckon his name should have headed the list: "He's a Lord, a peer of the realm, for crying out loud! Of course he should be top," said one. "Then it should be Sir Elton - then you can get into alphabetising the commoners."

But sources equally close to Queen said Brian May is fuming too.

"He's a bloody PhD - handed in his thesis Radial Velocities in the Zodiacal Dust Cloud a couple of years ago. OK, it was 36 years late, but he got his doctorate.

"What's Professor Green doing above him? He's not a real prof, you know. He's called Stephen Manderson - and he can't play guitar like Brian.

"If he was a proper professor, fair enough. But he's an imposter. It's a diabolical liberty!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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