Herds of well trained cows have stormed supermarkets and local government buildings in a bid to support the farmers' strike.
A calculated and precise act of terrorism has prevented customers from purchasing milk. It has been alleged farmers have been training these cows over the last six months in secret fields around the country. An insider agreed to speak with us, earlier known by his codename 'The Milkman'.
"We represent farmers all over the UK. Closing supermarkets is only the start. If milk is not paid for fairly, you will only imagine what will happen next."
Scotland Farm Yard are treating this act of terrorism very seriously. Chief Constable McCowmoo said, "We are treating this act of terrorism very seriously, indeed. They will not win."
Over the last twenty years the price of milk has raised by a tiny fourteen pence. Farmers simply want a fair amount of money for their milk. As supermarkets and government buildings install cow-proof barriers, police are raiding fields across the country filling evidence bags with footprint moulds taken from cow pats.
Not one cow has been arrested since this incident. Police suggest they are hiding abroad. Yesterday, a sheep was arrested in North Yorkshire but police claim it was a case of mistaken identity and has released the animal without charge.