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Thursday, 19 July 2012

image for End of the Stretched Limo on British Streets
Define 'luxury'

There is to be a major overhaul of limos and other stretched vehicles bringing an end to the presence of these luxuries to British streets. All limos are to be shipped back to USA.

Parliament voted unanimously to return these vehicles to the States with immediate effect. Ministers are blaming the stretched VIP mobiles for anti-social behaviour, binge drinking and uniting the class divide in society.

MP for Poshville, Herts, said, "The huge presence of these machines in British city centres is devaluating the word 'VIP'. Yes, we all want to travel around in luxury, but not everyone has the right to do so."

Shaz Pagne, unemployed, has begun a campaign against the removal of these luxury mobiles claiming it is against human rights. "I'm going to be thirty next year. How am I supposed to travel with my mates to the nightclub, now? By bus?"

Over 20% of arrests made in city centres last year were from party-goers spilling out of stretched cars. 90% of drivers agree their vehicles have downgraded the word 'luxury' and generally those who travel in such vehicles do not appreciate them and use them as toilets and binge-drinking booze buses.

Gone are the days of limo travellers jumping nightclub queues. Let's hope this scheme unites British drinking culture with our civilized, European partners.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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