Written by j.w.
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Topics: NHS

Tuesday, 17 July 2012

image for New Radical Plan for the NHS
Volunteers Take Over the Health Service

In what was termed 'a logical step' the Coalition Government is going to expand the Big Society into the Health Service.

Explaining the dynamic programme Andrew Lansley, Health Secretary said 'We shall gradually be replacing hospital staff by volunteers, many recently made redundant by the armed Forces or the Police. It is about time we had a bit more discipline in our Hospitals.'

In further money saving measures Doctors will be offered temporary employment instead of full time jobs and will be dismissed if they refuse this generous offer. 'In these days of austerity' said Lansley we cannot have the medical services holding the government to ransom. As Mrs Thatcher dealt with the miners, we will deal with the Doctors and Nurses.'

David Cameron and Nick Clegg, holding hands, were enthusiastic about these radical ideas. 'Doctors and Nurses have been held in higher regard than politicians for far too long' announced Cameron 'our tough no-nonsense approach to the Health service will put this right and save tax payers millions of pounds.'

Union leaders feared that these measures were just another step towards the destruction of the NHS but Nick Clegg assured them they would soon see that the country was behind the Government in this no nonsense approach to health.

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