Written by Sidney Bollocks
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Tuesday, 17 July 2012

image for John Terry To Be Appointed UK Goodwill Ambassador
Terry in pensive mood

After recently being cleared of a trumped up aggravated racial abuse charge, John Terry, the former England football captain, has been nominated to take on the role of UK Goodwill Ambassador.

Terry's nomination is believed to have cross party support and is, amongst other things, an acknowledgement of his well publicised contribution to black culture, albeit brief and mostly verbal.

Albert Speer, a local organiser for the BNP, told us, "We hold Terry very close to our hearts. He is a paragon of high moral standards, integrity, tolerance and charity. He looks after his flock, including their wives and/or girlfriends, and is always prepared to put their needs before his own."

Terry has also recently been recognised by the Darwin Institute, which has nominated him as an item of extreme scientific value. A spokesman, Neal Derthal, told us "Terry is of huge importance to the scientific community. There is no finer example of what happens when human evolution goes off the rails."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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