Written by queen mudder
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Wednesday, 11 July 2012

image for Friday the 13th astrology shocker for House of Lords reform scams
Signs and portents ahead of the date

London - A cosmic tsunami is being predicted as Uranus, celestial body of sudden eruptions, turns retrograde this Friday.

Nicknamed the zodiac's Great Awakener the planet currently straddles part of the Aries constellation traditionally associated with intrigues and scams.

"Yeah, it's a right bum-hole of a planet at the best of times," is how one Westmonster proportional representation source described it this morning.

"Still, some reckon its stationary movement this Friday the 13th may aggravate irrational numerology fears in the coalition government.

"WTF, eh??"

Superstition nutz on both sides of the House reckon a 'beastly' plot to drive down House of Lords numbers to a numerically significant 666 could now go belly-up - with disastrous consequences for all concerned.

Spearheaded by Glib-Dem leader Nick Clegg the campaign was dealt an egg-on-the-face blow when the House of Commons kicked the shambolic plan into the long grass late last night.

Today his proposals were dubbed dead in the water as detractors studied seismic fault lines in Clegg's own birth chart.

"Poor sod, he's a prime example of Shakespearian adages about blaming fate," a QM-NewsCorpse stringer commented.

"The fault's not in our stars but in ourselves is how the Great Bard put it, never mind that Like flies to wanton boys are we to the gods malarkey."

The Dowager Marchioness of Pratts Bottom is 69 on Sunday.

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