Ex-Barclays boss, Bob Diamond, has hit rough times after resigning from his job; he's also lost his private jet, chauffeur, Rolls Royce, shares and bonuses, +++! He was last seen with a begging bowl wandering around Trafalgar Square hoping that innocent, loaded tourists, would feel a bit of sympathy with him (The pigeons didn't, they shat on his head).
A "tanned" tabloid reporter asked Bob why he was begging after having reportedly millions in the banks (not Barclays), here his answer:
"People do not understand how difficult it is surviving on millions, I need billions. After all I have an expensive wife, mistress, yacht, private mansions in Dubai, Switzerland, Lichtenstein, Windward Islands, Florida, Alaska, etc, to maintain and having several hundred millions in my off-shore bank accounts is just not enough!"
Bob, was later seen scavenging free-bees off of the homeless, junkies and alcoholics (with dogs and dreadlocks) in a park under London Bridge. His days takings were £2,50p + free sandwiches from the local sandwich bars (who would have thrown them away anyway) and as he strolled home to his London mansion in Knightsbridge he was overheard saying, "tight tourist US bastards!"