News flash: Local park Flasher, Dick Dropemall, was going about his daily routine in the park around 10.00 pm. Doggy walkers, tramps, junkies, joggers and other park visitors were busy recovering from their heavy day's work when they heard a loud scream coming from beyond the bushes.
It seems than Dick was just about to open his greasy, full-length raincoat, better known as Mac, as a passing, bouncy female jogger jogged by, but this time the results were fatal.
The female jogger was too fast and Dick the Flasher in a rapid attempt to flash her ripped open his zip and OUCH! (Serves the dirty old bastard right) Dick and his pecker got caught up in the opening zip and he yowled as if a friendly, passing pitbull had just bit his pecker off!
Park visitors rushed to the bloody scene, confirmed the fact that it was Dick the Flasher and left him to bleed in the cool rays of the setting sun rarely seen over Greenwich park. Mean time, he did a runner down the hill holding his freshly wounded penis and just managed to close his Mac before a Bobby on a bike entered the park to see what all the commotion was about.
They passed each other in a flash leaving all evidence of the dastardly crime coagulating behind. Dodgy park visitors refused to give evidence to the Bobby and Dick is now recovering in his greasy council flat somewhere in the borough...
More as we get it!