Written by Backandtotheleft
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Thursday, 5 July 2012

Britain's justice system is loosening the war on drugs according to Back and to the Left's sources in Westminster.

"It's pointless," our source moaned, "people just aren't interested in shopping their nearest and dearest to the police for minor drug offences. We completely misjudged the mood of the nation."

Over the last ten years, Back and to the Left news have seen a number of programs and initiatives put into place by various governments including:

- Operation Overcoke!- Where coke addicts are forced to snort one pound of the finest Colombian marching powder around and made to run on a treadmill.

-Operation Cannabis Crackdown- Specialised police units infiltrated groups of stoners and tried to bring them down. Many a promising police officer ended up with the munchies.

- Operation Heroin Hot Tub- The details for this highly controversial rehab program are still classified.

Each of these programs and many like them were doomed to failure by the police's own disregard for the war on drugs.

Our source said: "To be honest we should have thought about it. All the voices clamouring for the crackdown on drugs came from old men or bored middle aged women. Neither of which were in any of position of authority on a subject that they just didn't understand."

As Back and to the Left news always suspected, it was a war based on fear rather than fact. Which sounds a lot like "The War On Terror" really. You can't beat terrorism by invading a country where a dude who built a bomb may or may not be living, just like you cant win the "War On Drugs" by locking up addicts. It's like using napalm to clean your bathroom. The moulds gone but you haven't got a toilet anymore.

Make Backandtotheleft's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 5 plus 3?

2 8 21 3
80 readers are online right now!

Go to top