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Thursday, 5 July 2012

image for Dementia-addled Queen 'gongs up the wrong William' in Thistle cock-up
Keep taking the medication, Ma'am

Edinburgh - "It should be famous four-times Derby-winning jockey Willie Carson, not some jumped-up nonentity masquerading as a prince!"

The damning put down by a Scottish Collage [sic] of Heralds spokesman is the first to rubbish today's Order of the Thistle cringefest.

The ceremony sees Prince William elevated to Scotland's foremost chivalry medal in a 'daft' knee-jerk reaction against Alex Salmond's separatist cause.

"We blame a Palace delusion that Scots nationalism can be thwarted," a long-lost relative of Bonnie Prince Charlie tweeted, "by gonging up this tosser in a velvet cloak-n-feathers charade."

The remarks echo many courtiers' feelings blaming a high-as-a-kite Queen Elizabeth whose dementia-addled brain 'has firewalled all bloody common sense'.

In the racing community highly respected Scottish former flat racing maestro Willie Carson has long been the people's Thistle choice.

The five-times UK Champion Jockey has won 17 British Classic races plus all the major Blue Ribbands in Ireland, Germany, Italy and France.

"And endured Beeb racing pundit Clare Balding's madcap sycophantic posturings," a QM-NewsCorpse stringer added.

"Besides, at 69 years of age he's got ten times more hair than bald-as-a-coot Willie Windsor!"

The Duke of Edinburgh remains on anti-psychotics since ordering David Cameron to nuke Greece.

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