Written by Talking Tic-Tacs
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Topics: Higgs Boson

Wednesday, 4 July 2012

image for Charlie Higgs-Boson Particle Found

A particle of the late, great Charlie Higgs-boson has reportedly been found in the large Hadrians Wall collider outside the Dignitas Clinic in Switzerland.

It is thought this could be the crucial particle in finding out the origins of derivative sketch show related comedy, which in turn will reveal the answer to absolutely everything and anything, ever, in the world, universe, of all time.

Fast Show contributor Charlie Higgs-Boson was humanely killed by fellow Fast Show man Paul Whitehouse at the Clinic in 2011. It is believed to have centred around him not wanting to endure more of Whitehouse's Aviva television advert sketches, while characters such as Swiss Toni were shunned the limelight. Whitehouse's well documented demonic control and ego meant he happily obliged, apparently leaving a run of commercial breaks on the hotel room's portable tv for Higgs-Boson to 'nod off' to.

Research has since led scientists to believe that the quintessential comedic character and sketch which holds the meaning to life and stuff within it was one from the mind of Charlie Higgs-Boson. The particular sketch was said to have so much comedy matter within it that it could have actually attained mass. One scientist has attempted to explain the particle, by stating its discovery was "a lot like making love to a beautiful woman". They struggled for months until a brief eureka moment.

Paul Whitehouse has of course since been cryogenically frozen by Harry Enfield in disgust at his antics, but also to defrost when his own creativity runs dry.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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