Stanton St Bernard, Wiltshire - Five teardrop pendants 'dangling like chandelier crystals' from a pentagonally-spired design are a classic Scientology temple symbol an expert said today.
"They represent Katie Holmes' tears during her five year marriage," local Stanton St Bernard eschatology guru Sir Waldo Noggins claimed as images of the latest crop circle went viral.
The field etching's passing resemblance to Westminster Abbey's North Entrance elevation has been easily rubbished because of the absence of the famous Rose Window created by Sir James Thornhill in 1722.
"You can dismiss that comparison as psychologically flawed," Noggins continued in a possible renewal of a long-standing Gordon Brown slur.
"That daft theory's being put about because the Thornhill masterpiece is also known as the Catherine Window - something that Saint Kate Middleton nutz are keen to promote.
"No way is that wretched gold digger girl more famous than the lovely Katie Holmes."