Written by queen mudder
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Tuesday, 3 July 2012

image for Independence Day plot to top the Queen
That's a disgusting rumor, George!

Glasgow - Scottish nationalists are in the frame for a July 4th plot to put Elizabeth Windsor out of her Diamond Jubilee misery.

Her annual Scotland visit sees the long-running Cold War hoaxer prepare to dignify tomorrow's Glasgow Cathedral National Service of Thanksgiving with 'getting away with it for the last 60 years'.

"Not if we can help it, och aye," longstanding Scottish independence activist Hamish McSporran tweeted this morning - against the background of a waxing Capricorn fool moon.

Compatriots are livid that she's creamed off Scottish oil and gas revenues to featherbed her sordid [and ever expanding] nest while the rest of the country is arse-deep in 'austerity'.

Crown Estate leases own the sea bed that that's seen Scottish hydrocarbon assets flourish under her reign.

Just one small sticking point threatens to stymie the cosy arrangements hewn by UK Chancellor of the Exchequer George Osborne to give 'Elizabeth' a slice of those profits:

She ain't 'Elizabeth' and she ain't the Queen - apart from a passing fecal - er...facial! resemblance to the 1926-born Princess who perished in the Nazis' 1940 fatal bombing of Buckingham Palace.

"Queen Elizabeth WILL NOT perish on Independence Day just to appease some daft conspiracy theorists," Buckingham Palace's Lord Chamberlain the Lord Loose-Cannon told reporters on the 6 o'clock TV news.

"Wanna see pics of her minus her royal knickers at the State Opening of Parliament 2012?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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