Britain has been rocked by the shock resignation of Lord Cod as Olympics Supremo.
In a statement leaked to our Sports editor Seb Cod declared: 'In the interests of the country I must resign from my post at Director General of the Olympics. After talking to my family and friends I have no option but to bow to public outrage at the financial arrangements that have left West Ham not knowing where they stand over the future of the Olympic Stadium.'
West Ham fans are relieved that Cod has gone. 'He stood in the way of progress!' declared John White, a Hammers fan since the beginning of the last century.
Cod is due to meet the all Party Parliamentary Drivel Committee tomorrow when he is likely to blame the Culture Minister Jeremy Hunt for the misunderstanding over West Ham. Some think Cod has resigned so he can reveal all the dirt emanating from Hunt's office. Rumours suggest Hunt didn't even know West Ham had been promoted to the Premier League.
'He is out of touch' trumpeted Labour leader Ed Military Band.
We can be sure more heads will roll due to the shameful treatment of the heroic Hammers.