Written by Inchcock
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Tuesday, 3 July 2012

image for Cameron Accused Of Offering 'Jam Tomorrow' Over Europe
'Jam and Cameron seem to go together?

David Cameron is facing renewed backbench disquiet over the European Union after he tried and failed to satisfy Conservative demands for a referendum.

Conservative MPs warned that the prime minister had not gone far enough by declaring that he would consider calling a referendum - but not yet.

Cameron was accused of offering "jam tomorrow" with his offer to go to the people once Britain's future relationship with Brussels, in the aftermath of the eurozone crisis and further EU integration, becomes clear.

He insisted that an immediate in/out referendum was not what the public wanted.

Of course his interpretation of the word 'public' is different to those of the dictionary's available at libraries, on the internet, or available for purchase at the shops.

Definitions of the word Public:

A: Public: Ordinary people in general; the community.

B: Public: Pertaining to, or affecting a population or a community as a whole.

C: Public: Of or pertaining to all people; belonging to the people.

D: David Cameron's definition:

Public: Bankers, Overseas investors, Family and friends, Etonites, Nepotists, Landed Gentry, and Tax fiddling MPs.

Failed prospective 'Impecunious Party' council candidate Bartholomew Utterswaithe of Nottingham explained to our reporter:

If Cameron was going to supply any jam, it would be 'Dutriez' Bar-le-Duc from red currants hand-seeded with a goose quill. A 3-oz jar sells at £25.48!

Not the Asda Smartprice Mixed Fruit Jam, (Glucose-Fructose Syrup , Mixed Fruits (Strawberries (15%), Apples (13%), Cherries (7%)), Gelling Agent (Pectin) , Redcurrant Juice from Concentrate , Citric Acid , Acidity Regulator (Sodium Citrates) , Colour [Anthocyanins] , Prepared with 35g of Fruit per 100g , Total Sugar Content 61g per 100g) (454g) at 29p!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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