Written by queen mudder
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Thursday, 28 June 2012

image for Captain Janeway's USS Voyager-themed crop circle wows Alton Barnes
Detail of one of the port side shuttle bay logos etched by Voyager's Maquis crew

Wilts - Straddling the wheat near an ancient White Horse chalk carving its 350ft 'contrail' of circular disks snakes the local Delta Quadrant that is Alton Barnes rapeseed fields.

This morning's materialization of the Intrepid-class starship is the first field etching to illustrate the USS Voyager's return to the Alpha Quadrant using the famous Borg Transwarp Conduit.

Locals commented that the slightly pointed primary hull is typical of Captain Kathryn Janeway's intergalactic vessel - mistakenly described as a 'Venus' sunfish installation by one UK red top's early edition.

However close-up inspection clearly shows Voyager's classic angled warp nascelles - something that easily rubbishes the tabloid's 'Venus transit' theory.

By lunchtime all the extraterrestrial excitement was being hurriedly snuffed out as a heavy duty industrial tractor began the painstaking task of obliterating the Wiltshire etching.

"Now looks more like the explosion trail of the 1986 Challenger Space Shuttle disaster," local crop dusting operative Barney McParticle told QM-NewsCorpse reporters covering the destruction.

"Weird thing is you can almost smell Challenger's spiral smoke plume wafting over the horizon.

"Wanna see pic of a naked Captain Janeway in the famous mud wrestling scene with the evil Borg Queen?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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