Written by queen mudder
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Wednesday, 27 June 2012

image for Jersey set to dump the UK as 'Irony Age' coin hoard valued at billions
Enough loot to say Yah Boo Sux to the British Government

Channel Isles - A fabulous treasure trove of precious coins is set to liberate Jersey from British Government tyranny.

Valued at several times the offshore haven's hidden tax billions the one tonne of Roman and Celtic currency may have been buried by an ancient 'comic' to one day help the Channel Island in its worst hour of need.

"It's got all the hallmarks of Pisstakus Maximus," Sir Philip Bellyache, Jersey's assistant chief minister said today.

The first century BC prankster may have buried the cache under a privet border of a farmer's cabbage field in one of the earliest recorded examples of hedge fund secrecy.

The hoard is set to be impounded by the Jersey Government before being sold off on the open market to numismatic collectors.

Current estimates reckon that if you added up all the UK's tax-dodging billions stashed on the island you'd have to add 'several zeros' to the valuation of the coins.

So it's up yours, Cameron and Osborne as Liberation Day approaches.

The neighboring Channel Island of Alderney's hidden oil deposits remain firmly under wraps.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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