David Cameron's bank account has been depleted to zero by a Robin Hood Style Computer Hacker. The attack came just 20 minutes after the Tory without a heart declared war on the Under 25s and tiny children who have already been abandoned by their fathers.
The computer Hacker called RobDGreedy put this plan into action this morning and immediately got busy tracking down every bank account that David owned right across the globe. He then transferred all the money into another account called "RobDGreedy's Good Causes Account"
This account is an account that is dedicated to helping poor people by giving cash donations to charities who are helping the needy. Rob redistributed David's cash to food banks right across the country. Rob said "These food banks are shameful evidence of the terrible society in which we live. We live in one of the richest countries in the world and yet there are people who don't have enough money to feed themselves or their children."
Obviously, because Rob is a caring, sharing lefty, he didn't want to leave poor Mr Cameron destitute, so he has decided to give him £150 a fortnight to live on, and the price of housing benefit for a 1 bedroom flat on the worst council estate in Wales.
Rob said. "I decided upon this amount because that's what David thinks is an acceptable amount to live on. If you think I have made a miscalculation Mr Cameron please write to your MP and see what he does about it. Obviously, because you're now one of the poor people, he probably won't listen to you."
Mr Cameron's spokesperson couldn't comment today because David can no longer afford to pay his wages.
By Katarina Frogpond.