Written by queen mudder
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Saturday, 23 June 2012

image for Plot to smuggle out Julian Assange in Ecuador ambassador's diplomatic bag
Hopefully the diplomatic bag won't be 'accidentally' dispatched on a wrong flight to CIA HQ in Langley, Va

London - Three daze of honing MI6 cryptographer Dr Gareth Williams' technique of slipping in and out of a large holdall may be about to come good for fugitive bail jumper Julian Assange.

Reports from the Ecuador embassy in London's Knightsbridge have hinted heavily this afternoon that Ambassador Ana Alban Mora is about to take a private plane back home to Quito.

Summoned for emergency talks with President Rafael Correa Her Excellency is likely to take home a few monthsworth of dirty laundry and dry cleaning which, according to the Vienna Convention, can be safely transported inside a diplomatic bag.

This gives immunity from police interference and pesky airport searches for contraband.

Of course, if caught by some twist of ironic fate - like a sudden bursting open of piece of luggage - the lady could quickly say goodbye to her budding envoy career.

However police have no powers to stop an embassy car carrying Ms Alban Mora to the airport - even if they suspect that at 13 stone the contents of her Samsonite Freeloader suitcase may contain something more than months of soiled underwear.

"Could be an awful lot of excess baggage costs to fork out," an experienced Heathrow lost luggage official commented this afternoon.

"It would be pretty unlucky if disgruntled airport baggage handlers accidentally put the ambassador's personal luggage straight onto an unscheduled flight to, say, Langley, Virginia, heheh."

The CIA's HQ is fabled for its success in dealing with similar 'emotional baggage' as previous flight risk fugitives have found to their cost.

The 7 hour flight could be the trip of a lifetime.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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