Written by queen mudder
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Friday, 22 June 2012

image for Sounds of frantic tunnelling under Ecuador London embassy
Undercover extradition service cops outside the Ecuador embassy today

London - There have been reports of sudden and unexpected 'basement swimming pool excavations' under the Hans Crescent legation today.

Locals said extradition service bailiffs and undercover cops had been spotted staking out several potential tunnel exits in nearby Basil Street - including a mews garage belonging to a known international 'Mr Fixit'.

This morning's development comes as bail-breaking Wikileaks founder Julian Assange is suspected of having watched too many Shawshank Redemption and Colditz reruns on the Ecuador embassy video.

Three days of 'shovel and spade diplomacy' at the Knightsbridge building have seen the fugitive from justice plan a cunning getaway to the nearest Quito-bound flight out of the UK.

Just one sticking point remains in the desperate scheme, namely the question of diplomatic immunity status of official embassy cars.

High level negotiations between Ecuadorean officials and the Home Office see police insistence that as soon as Assange puts so much as one foot outside the Hans Crescent building he is officially back on UK soil.

And liable to be nabbed for breaking bail.

"Of course he could always marry HE the Ecuadorean Ambassador Ms Ana Alban Mora," a constitutional expert warned today, "that way Assange would acquire immediate diplomatic status without the annoyance of any Foreign Orifice vetting."

A swift getaway to Quito charter plane would then be a relative doddle.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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