Written by j.w.
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Wednesday, 20 June 2012

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Rooney Claims he Scored

The question being asked after England's 1-0 win over the Ukraine was: WAS THE BALL OVER THE LINE BEFORE ROONEY HEADED IT?

Numerous playbacks of the goal from various angles, including one from the top of Rooney's head, left a definite impression on Rooney's newly grown head of hair, but whether he was over the line before he 'scored' is another matter.

Our football correspondent in the Ukraine says as it was the only worthwhile thing Rooney did in the game so he had better be awarded the goal, but fans are asking: What is the Truth?

It had become clear in the first half of the game that Rooney was no Carol, by about six inches, which meant several centres meant for Carol were as much good as Christmas in the middle of June. No one can blame Rooney for his hair style but it does not have the pig tail cred of Carol. We can't all have long hair, some of us have no hair at all, so we can't really blame Rooney over the missing six inches on top of his head which meant he missed every centre by about six inches!

Whatever the truth the record books will show Ronney scored and the Ukraine didn't. But the record books show Lampard didn't score in the World Cup. It goes to prove: You can't always believe what you see!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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