Written by Ernest Hendrix
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Saturday, 16 June 2012

image for Ken Barlow Declared Immortal
Charles Dickens

The Dalai Lama today declared Ken Barlow BA (Hons) an immortal being during a guided tour of Granada studios in Manchester.

Ken was given the good news whilst filming a particularly difficult scene in The Rovers Return Inn in which he had to ask for half a pint and a hotpot.

Barlow exclusively told us:

"Well, this has made my day! I'm really chuffed.

"It's not everyday you're told that you'll live forever. Is it?"

This clears the way for Barlow to extend his Coronation Street contract indefinitely and potentially makes him the highest earning actor in history given his projected earnings.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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