Written by Patti Cake
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Topics: Weather, Summer

Saturday, 16 June 2012

image for Topsy-Turvy Summer Weather - Mind Over Matter says Horley Woman
Anna dodges the showers

Horley resident Anna Lee Retentive claims that the weather can be influenced by the power of thought.

For example Anna claims that not once has she been caught in any of the recent downpours. "Take this week for instance" says Anna who works as chief records archivist (filing clerk) for a local estate agent "On Monday it started tippin it down about 3pm. I leave work about 5pm and I was cursing meself for not bringing me kagoul so I was muttering to meself "oh please please stop before I go home" and what do you think? about 4.55 it stopped all of a sudden and out came the sun. Similar thing happened on Tuesday and Wednesday and on Thursday I needed to go out in me lunch hour so I tried it again, you know, "please please stop effing raining" and about 12.55 it stopped so I nipped out quick".

Professor Michael Fish head of meteorological studies at Horley College pooh poohs Anna's claims. "I have been studying whether the power of thought can influence the climate since the 80s" he said "and I would categorically say that it doesn't work. In Anna's case she just got lucky".

When told of Professor Fish's comments Anna laughed "Well he can think what he wants but if he had kept this shut (points to mouth) and used a bit more of this (points to head) in October 87 he might not have made such a twat of himself in front of all those TV viewers".

It might be worth adding that Anna hasn't been so lucky inside her home as outside. She confided that last Wednesday she had a burst pipe followed by a roof leak over the week-end.

You can't win them all Anna!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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