Written by Aphrodite
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Friday, 15 June 2012

image for Not Again! 'No Child Left Behind' Issue Pops Up as Miriam Clegg Leaves DPM Behind as He Shops for new Dyson
Stay at home husband Nick Clegg works on wife's bucket list

Yet nother embarrassment for the Coalition as Spoof News stinger Aphrodite can now reveal that the haughty wife of Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg lost her patience whilst the DPM was shopping for a new vac at Harrods earlier this week, storming out leaving him behind with a bevy of saleswomen she claimed were 'sucking up' to him! ! Like she would actually know what that was. Give me a jingle honey. I can help you here.

The incident is eerily reminiscent of recent events when the Sam & Dave team forgot their 8 year old at a local pub during a 'Drink till you Sink' chillaxing moment!

Clegg was said to have endured the embarrassing condition of having no ride home by having to queue for a Black Cab with his new household implement under his arm but said he was 'greatly relieved' to find that no one recognized and spit on him in the busy street. Get over it Nick. No one recognized you because you just aren't that important. More interestingly, what's that other new "household implement" vibrating in your pocket...or is that your ring tone of "Ode to Joy" , your favourite national anthem?

The hot tempered Spaniard, a partner in a high powered law firm where it is claimed she earns upwards of $750k per year and is the major bread winner in the family, has made it clear in the past that she has no time for housework, campaigning, or voting. ( she still refuses to take on British citizenship) . Not that I can fault her for that seeing as how things are going in Spain these days . 50% of the populace works for an income while the other 50% spend it and raise taxes! Just like home, no?

She has left household chores to her husband, who she claims ' has more time on his hands than he knows what to do with', and does an adequate job 'if properly supervised and is kept focused on the job at hand and not 'flip flopping' from room to room whilst mopping." 'Not easy getting rid of bad habits', as the Pope once said.

Nick, who his wife Miriam refers to as "Narciso' * in keeping with naming her 3 sons Antonio, Alberto and Miquel in order to compensate for the 'dull, fat, squat' Clegg surname, is known for his casual work habits, including his edict that no new items be placed in his 'in box' after 9 a.m. each work day in order for him to 'tidy up' before leaving for ' home chores'.

Ed note: *Narciso: a term of endearment for " Ignacio", meaning "numbness". Bang on target, that one!

It is said 'His Numbness' leaves 'the office' most days at 3 PM in order to rush home, start preparing the evening meal and doing the tidying up and last minute 'hoovering' for his wife, who is said to be a stickler for neatness including starched undergarments. That alone could account for that up tight look she sports regularly. God knows starched undergarments would crimp any gal's day, know what I mean? Personally I prefer sumptuously luxurious silk. Has that nice slippery, sliding sensation. But I digress. ( sigh)

This is just the latest in a growing list of embarrassing events for the Dysfunctional Coalition leaving taxpayers to ask: Can These Boys really be trusted to be "Alone At ( the) Home (Office?")

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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