Written by asphyxiation
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Wednesday, 13 June 2012

image for OAP Questioned Over Indecent Exposure
Police Prepare To Move In On The Suspect

Greater Madchester Police questioned an old age pensioner yesterday after she began exposing herself to passes by in a local Lidl's. An eyewitness to the event, described the OAP as losing the plot completely. The traumatised witness said: She came in happy enough, singing away to herself, like they do. Then all of a sudden, boof. Her tit was right in me face, it was 'orrible."

Another onlooker added:"It was disgusting, a woman of her age. It was very upsetting, all shrivelled up and covered in the most unsightly veins. Then she got her breast out and it was even worse. I'll never be able to buy another pineapple from there again".

Security staff at the shop helped the pensioner into the store room to re-dress herself before police arrived. It is thought the latest outburst is part of a long running campaign by the woman to highlight the lack of affordable anti-ageing creams available in the city.

The woman, known locally as Mad Donna is believed to have a history of exposing herself in public. A close neighbour of the 86 year old, described how she used to parade up and down the street in her bra and panties. The neighbour, who refused to be named said:"It was years ago now. She was a bit of a looker in those days, so nobody minded too much. Used to give my hubby a bit of a thrill to be honest, especially on the cold days."

Police are believed to be studying CCTV footage of the incident very closely. A Police spokesman said:" Obviously our main concern is for the publics safety. We will be continuing the investigation and passing any relevant information onto the CPS for consideration."

Make asphyxiation's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 4 multiplied by 5?

8 7 13 20

Go to top