David and Samantha Cameron have been labelled a "problem family" by social worker Erica Pickles who was shocked to discover that after a drinking bout at pub they were so pissed out of their minds that they left their daughter, Nancy aged just 8, at the pub.
Poor Nancy was found hidden in a toilet where she was in danger of kidnap or worse. Ms Pickles described this desertion of their child by the Camerons as 'symptomatic of a dysfunctional family'.
Urgent enquiries by Chipping Norton Social Services have uncovered further shocking news about the Camerons. The father had recently employed a disreputable salesman, now facing trial for perjury and was described as a man 'easily misled' by a neighbour who feared theCamerons were inolved in vicious gang culture.
Ms Pickles is worried about poor little Nancy Cameron and is preparing to take the child into care before she is damaged further. 'Problem families are at the bottom of much State expenditure' she explained 'these elements of society cause so many difficulties and they must be firmly dealt with.'
Measures to limit the State handouts the Cameron's receive have been implemented and they face prosecution for child neglect.