Written by IainB
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Monday, 11 June 2012

image for Extreme Eaters Club looking for new members after the Fossil Course
Nobody could lift the brontosaurus finger food.

The Cambridge branch of the Extreme Eaters Club are on the look out for new members after they recently introduced a Fossil Course.

"This seemed like a logical next step," said Extreme Eater, Heston Blumenthal. "We'd done the various other forms of extreme eating. We had an endangered animals course that was fun. Panda sandwiches and tiger canap├ęs are always tasty. We'd done the poisonous if cooked incorrectly course. You know, like Japanese Blow Fish. We even had a bring your pet to the meal course. That was a bit tame. Although Rowan Atkinson's tortoise was very tasty."

Having seemingly exhausted all of the living animals to eat, it was decided that they should try and eat already extinct ones.

"We started with a triceratops starter," said Blumenthal. "Even with the orange sauce, it was very dry. It was the Tyrannosaurus Burgers that were the killer though."

According to Heston, several of the extreme eaters had to duck out with their teeth shattered. Those that made it through that section of the meal with their teeth relatively intact were undone by the stegosaurus trifle.

"We very rapidly ran out of extreme eaters," said Blumenthal. "I only made it through to the deinosuchus crackers with pterodactyl cheese because I've had all my teeth replaced with diamonds."

With most of the extreme eaters now out of action through severe indigestion, lack of dentures or lack of life, the club is now on the look out for new members.

"We're planning on trying to eat eels whilst going over Niagara Falls in a barrel next," said Heston. "It's an awful lot less dangerous than eating fossils."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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