The British weather has refused to be drawn on its plans for the Wimbledon championships and the forthcoming London Olympics-even after buggering up the recent Jubilee celebrations.
The relentless pissing rain that totally spoiled three out of the four days of Jubilee bank holiday celebrations were hailed as a triumph for the 'bloody weather' as millions of sopping wet Britons had to cancel street parties and huddle in garages & under gazebos while eating cold congealing, hamburgers.
The Weather, however, would not discuss in depth plans for it to do the same to this year's Wimbledon championships and more importantly, the forthcoming Olympics.
The Weather said "Im glad that I could almost literally piss all over the queens parade but I think I should let the nation wait and see if Im going to spoil the next couple of big events."
"I'm usually under a lot of pressure this time of year to spend Wimbledon fortnight soaking a load of silly, middle class housewives sitting on Murray Mount and right royally messing up the BBC's TV scheduling- but with the Olympics to think about I'm not going to commit to any plans as of yet."
When pressed on any potential ideas for what he has in store for the 27 July - 12 August the Weather did concede some thoughts.
"Of course with such a high profile event taking place it does give me some juicy ideas to play with- as it were. I could soak the whole event in an unrelenting chilly drizzle or blow all those idiots paying upwards of £500 for a ticket all over the place with force 9 gales. But then on the contrary I could just give London its highest ever temperatures causing the already stretched transport infrastructure to collapse as train lines buckle, tube customers faint, tarmac melts and bus engines overheat."
"You'll just have to wait and see" added the weather with a cheeky wink