Written by queen mudder
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Monday, 11 June 2012

image for PM's security branded totally useless amid Camerons' own 'Tapas Bar' moment
The PM enjoys 24/7 VIP protection from the Downing Street Nanny Service

London - 'Protection cops or Keystone Cops?' was the obvious question today as details emerged of the Camerons' parenting skills following a family pub lunch one Sunday.

It's left the PM's official security team looking sheepish amid widespread reporting of the boozy blunder.

As the nation's commander-in-chief Mr Cameron receives a round the clock VIP service that includes a careful watch on the wife and kids.

Today's headlines tell a very different story as tabloids describe how the PM and his Mrs left their sprog in a pub and drove off home after a jolly Sunday lunch.

The revelations follow a recent biography describing 'chillaxing Dave' enjoying three or four glasses of wine with his Sunday lunch, gawd-bless-him.

That's made possible by the Downing Street Nanny Service - aka the Royal Protection Squad - which guards public figures like the Queen and top ministers.

Today that security team denied responsibility for the obligatory head-count as the Camerons and their guests headed home in a convoy of cars.

"Of course we check the lavs and the kids' play area in the beer garden," Sgt Clouseau told reporters, "but ultimate responsibility for kids is with the mums and dads."

Luckily for everyone concerned little Miss Nancy Cameron came to absolutely no harm and was whisked back to Chequers after a 15 minute delay.

The following week her Dad launched a government fund to teach parenting skills by offering hundred squid tuition vouchers to wayward parents 'who clearly haven't got a clue'.

Enough said, eh?

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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