Written by queen mudder
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Topics: Lottery, Kebabs

Sunday, 10 June 2012

image for Barking kebab take-away owner loses winning £63.8m EuroSquillions ticket
Yum!

Isle of Dogs - A late night fast food cafe owner is in shock this weekend after a trainee put the winning lottery ticket inside a customer's take away kebab.

Five numbers and the two all-important star balls came up trumps for Barking Blue Moon Kebab Emporium proprietor Costas Proletariatis giving him a guaranteed 50% cut of the massive £127million jackpot.

This morning the poor man was apoplectic with disbelief after learning a work experience kitchen assistant had shredded the ticket along with some lettuce, tomato and cucumber 'for a bit of a lark, like'.

And fed it to a charming customer to help soak up the night's lager intake....before going into hiding.

Frantic calls to Lottery HQ insisted there'd be no payout unless the winning ticket was recovered and still in a legible state.

"Bloody hell, some alkie's eaten it along with my mutton delicacy," a livid Mr P told the nice lady on the phone who suggested he contact the takeaway purchaser.

And in a unexpected twist Isle of Dogs sanitation department sauces confirmed this morning that a quick recce round Barking High Street found no vomited-up remains of any midnight snack - highly unusual for the area and the time of year.

"Woe is me," Proletariatis tweeted late this afternoon.

"Any chance of an official bail-out?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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