Written by queen mudder
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Topics: Tony Blair, Austria

Friday, 12 May 2006

image for Blair pleads for Irving's freedom at Austria summit
Blair goes back to his DNA roots

Vienna, Austria - Friday 12 May 2006 (Associated Mess): Tony Blair has joined European leaders in Vienna today in a summit meeting with their Latin American counterparts vowing to make a concerted joint show of strength aimed at extorting the immediate release from jail of the Bush Administration's No1 favorite historian David 'No-Such-Thing-as-the Holocaust' Irving.

The move follows extensive plea bargain pressures brought to bear by Irving's lawyers who are alarmed that their client might die in jail before the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse arrive to rescue him in time for the dawning of the New Golden Age when the next Bush Dynasty president takes office in the White House in 2008.

Sources close to the jailed holocaust denier have hinted that world leaders might sleep a lot more comfortably in their beds at night if an atmosphere of mutual co-operation and understanding results in Irving's immediate release from Vienna's equivalent of Sing Sing prison.

As a sweetener, Irving's lawyers have been instructed by their client to mention that all the historical documents and legal evidence pointing to the DNA structure co-relations between Adolf Hitler, Joseph Stalin, Rasputin, Pope Pius XII AND the current incumbents of public high office in the pro-Bush cabal, which were thought to have been irrevocably destroyed and/or mysteriously gone missing from official governmental records offices and public archives relating to the Cold War era ....could make a sudden and dramatic re-appearance within the next few days unless Irving gets out out jail pretty damned quick.

"He knows where Bush1 hid the bodies", said a spokesman. "It makes for an atmosphere of exceptional mutual co-operation.

"In addition, some remarkable archive material has just become exclusively available to our client which would nail the Zaprudder footage Bonesmen as the pioneering masterminds behind the President's publicly expunged Arbusto pecadillos."

The news sent shockwaves through No 10 Downing Street where an already beleagured Tony Blair was preparing to check into a private plastic surgery facility this weekend for the immediate removal of swastikas and other Third Reich memorabilia sigils tattooed on significant parts of his anatomy.

Whitehall insiders hinted that newly elevated Foreign Secretary Margaret Becket has already paved the way for secret Blair/Irving face time today where a deal could be struck that gets the historian out of the slammer on a well-known legal technicality known as the Pinochet Plea.

This allows permanent compassionate leave from incarceration on inhuman rights grounds when a prisoner is diagnosed as being clinically depressed as a direct result of his jailing.

It also fully absolves any criminal convictions and automatically qualifies the happy ex-detainee for a Knighthood in the UK under the Labour Administration's updated peerage rules.

Other side-effects could be nominations for a Nobel Peace Prize for Sycophancy and a Vatican Knighthood in the Sacred Military Constantinian Order of St George.

More news expected over the weekend.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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