Written by CaptainSausage

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Friday, 8 June 2012

image for Dorking residents protest against new national park

A group of concerned Dorking residents have protested that a new national park is planned to be set up in the North Downs. It has been designated an area of outstanding natural beauty and is to be made into a national park.

"It's a disgrace," said local man Cyril Sneer. "The national park will ruin our view of the Downs, and scare away tourists, not to mention the impact it will have on the wildlife."

Local councillors have been puzzled by the actions. When they approved the new park, they had hoped it would provide a boost to the area, and would preserve the environment around Dorking.

However, the protesters are certain that it would ruin the area. "We don't want any of them national parks round here," said a letter to local newspaper The Dorking Standard. "Whatever next, will we have to sacrifice our firstborn?"

Other protesters were concerned about the noise the park would make, particularly the sounds of nature which would echo across the downs.

A hundred locals turned out for the protest, bearing placards such as "National parks are the work of the devil", "Protect Dorking from becoming a protected area", and "Leave Dorking alone!"

Dorking town council will review the decision to approve the national park next week.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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