Written by armfeetandtoe

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Friday, 8 June 2012

image for BBC employ cockney news reader
Clive learning his lines

The BBC has employed an East End Cockney to read the local lunchtime news. Programme editors felt the gritty accent and down to earth attitude may help raise ratings.
Mr Clive Danton, from West Ham was chosen after attending several auditions in London.

Here is a brief recording of Mr Danton reading this afternoon's news broadcast:

"Hello me china's and in today's church pews, a geeza that had it away with the bees an honey from a Churchill got two years bird in the rusty after pleading guilty to the nursery".

After his first broadcast, Clive Danton was upbeat about his future prospects;

"I say, those chaps at the beeb are absolute corkers! Bunty helped me with my diction Laura went through the lines with me, can't wait to do the next one, must dash, going to a cheese and wine at Covent Garden, see you darlings".

BBC sources say the ratings rose by 30% when Clive was reading the news, they are now planning to have Pearly Kings and Queens having a knee's up during the weather report.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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