The whole of England has been stunned tonight by the shock call up to the England team of Morrissey's favourite Bad Boy, QPR Player, Joey Barton.
It follows the shock departure of Damien Defoe, who in a past life wrote an excellent book about a prisoner who finds a pirate hoard and then captures the heart of a lady. But in this lifetime, Damien chose not to be shocked by the Joey call up.
He is said to have said "Joey is such a natural replacement for me. He makes a scene wherever he goes. He's the one everyone watches and football is, after all, all about the entertainment"
Morrissey wasn't shocked either, he was heard to say, in a crowd, that he is over the moon that Joey has been picked for the England squad. One of his friends said "Morrissey thinks Joey is the last of the international bad boys, and he is welcome to come party with him, Pete Doherty and Dave Cameron at the Temple of Morrissey, any day."
Pete Doherty, however, wasn't pleased. He said "I'm worried that people might find out what a good player he is, and he'll get poached by Inter Milan or Rangers, or some other team who've got more money than QPR."
Carl Barat, also of the Libertines, was heard to say: "I don't know who Joey Barton is. I'm an Opera star, now. How could you ask me that... Don't you know I played Nero in Paris"
The comments continue to pour in on Twitter and Joey continues to give more Twitter comments. He's the People's player. He's also a bit political. I think he might actually be a good recruit for the Superhero Underground in their battle against the Tombies. He could be their hired hard man. Someone tell Ed Milliband he's got to check him out for his "special" team.
By Katarina Frogpond.