Downing Street, London SWI - Monday 8 May 2006 (Associated Mess): Following feverish speculation in the UK weekend press that Tony Blair's resignation is 'imminent', friends of Cherry Bush QC have insisted that the PM and his wife will white-knuckle this one out at No 10 'until the men in white coats come'.
The statement comes after a frantic cross-atlantic slanging match between the heads of the UK security/intelligence services and lawyers acting for jailed Republican lobbyist Jack Abramoff whose latest plea-bargain grassing-up victim, CIA CEO Porter Goss, was busted by the Feds last Friday and immediately labelled by the US media as a "dodgy speculum caught up the fathomless backside of the Ancient American Order of the Skull 'n' Bones".
Recent probings by the UK Parliamentary Standards Committee for Graft, Backhanders and Ex-Gratia Freebies has argued that the Bonesmen's 40 year long sponsorship of Mrs Blair's stellar judicial career could not be rated as a tax-deductible expense incurred wholly and exclusively in the line of duty as the Tory Party's premier incarnation of the Great Whore of Babylon.
Goss had consitently supported the US/UK taxation theory that it was a karmic duty for Cherie to bear the heavy mantle of the brimming offshore-held Riggs Bank accounts into which the Bonesmen had so copiously emptied their coffers following traditional re-cycling arrangements between the Medellin Cartel's bagmen and the Internal Revenue.
His fiscal advice, however, was overturned when Abramoff's lawyers offered to go live on coast-to-coast prime time with startling DNA evidence linking the UK's House of Mountbatten with the Bush dynasty, relatives of Hitler, Stalin, Rasputin and little Miss Goody Twoshoes Nancy Reagan.
A new complexion has resulted on this latest face of the cross-atlantic special relationship, with the Blairs' lawyers now citing the Inhuman Rights Act in defence of their behavior.
Meanwhile, back in Washington DC, a grim-looking President George Bush Junior has laughed off any suggestion that CIA top spook Porter Goss was fired for gross incompetence, dereliction of duty, crass stupidity while in public office or "any of the other notable qualities also listed on his remarkable curriculum vitae which propelled him straight to the top job".