Written by IainB
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Sunday, 3 June 2012

image for Harry and William sang different words to God Save the Queen at the Diamond Jubilee
The Flotilla getting ready to set off up the Thames

Prince Harry and Prince William did not sing the traditional words to the National Anthem during the Diamond Jubilee finale. Expert Lip readers were brought in to attempt to work out what they were singing.

"We think they were singing something about their father taking over on the throne," said Jimmy Quipment, a lip reader from the National School for the Deaf in Reading. "Something like 'God Take Our Lovely Gran, God Smite our Happy Gran, God take our Gran'."

Quipment believes that they continued this on, with lines like 'put our father on the throne' and 'Send her incontinent'.

"It does seem quite rude," said Alyson McWeather, Royal Correspondent for Knitting Magazine, "but you have to remember that they will have been taught the words by their father. He may well have taught them some slightly alternative words out of frustration and spite."

Prince Charles, Williams and Harry's father, has been waiting patiently for the throne since in 1975, is celebrating his own jubilee, of sorts, whilst his mother watches some boats go past while stood on a boat.

"It's been fifty years since Charles wished his mother would step down," said McWeather. "It's an open secret that ever Birthday to his mother, Charles adds the line, 'Bugger'."

It is also an open secret that the each of the names of the boats that went past the barge had a secret message for Charles.

"If you take first letter of the names of each of the boats that went past," said McWeather, "it spells out the phrase: 'haha, I'm going to rule for another sixty years, you unlucky jug eared bastrad'. Unfortunately the last three boats didn't pass in the right order."

Charles never noticed.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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