Written by Jaggedone
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Topics: Obesity

Wednesday, 30 May 2012

image for UK Fatties to be re-housed in countryside barns!
No not these ones; the human ones!

All UK fatties over the weight of 50 stone, and growing, are to be re-housed and replaced in countryside barns with double doors. There are now over 200 of them and they are all either stuck on the bog, stuck between their crisp and Mars Bar wrappings or stuck with their heads in the fridge.

Police and the hospital authorities cannot get them out without demolishing the house and the costs of removing them is so horrendous it has now been confirmed living in barns is much cheaper and healthier; free range style that is.

The National Health is supporting the plan because they are also having to replace their swing doors with huge double doors and the costs of bedding them has doubled because they need 2; beds that is!

UK obesity is reaching epidemic proportions after "Tsunami-ing" over from the States. In America the health authorities are better equipped because everything is bigger there anyway; houses, doors, Hamburgers, arses, hot dogs, etc.

Empty barns out in the countryside, as faraway from supermarkets as possible, are being confiscated by the government and refurbished into walk-in and out domiciles for the fatties. The farmers are also benefitting from this new action because they are supplying the new, healthy fodder for the fatties and hopefully within a year or two they will be come normal again; oink, oink!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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