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Tuesday, 29 May 2012

image for Pippa Middleton's Arse Signed Up For New ITV 2 Show
Pippa's arse pictured earlier today before news broke about new seven figure deal.

Derrière of dreams, Pippa Middleton's arse, was said this evening to be celebrating after having landed itself a lucrative new deal, in what's rumoured to be a seven figure sum with the total dross TV channel ITV 2.

The bountiful bum-hole is believed to be 'made up' with the deal and is looking forward to the series being aired in September 2012. A camera crew will follow the terrific tush everywhere for the next three months and programme makers, Cack Productions, have posted, "Expect fireworks guys when we go to air in the Fall," on their Twitter feed earlier today.

A spokesman for Buckingham Palace was giving nothing away and Prince William was keeping tight-lipped about his sister-in-law's world famous asset.

An ITV 2 insider told reporters that Pippa's bum will take over the recently vacated Peter Andre slot, and added that already advertising spaces for the show are selling like hot cakes.

Meanwhile the diminutive Antipodean former popstar and ex-husband of Katie Price is understood to be taking a philosophical view about his change in fortunes. He released the following statement on his website:

Look mates, I've had a good run and now I've run me race cobbers. I never thought I'd get a second chance but I've amazed myself by hanging around for so long after that Jungle thing when I hitched up with Jordan. So not to worry. I've had a blinding time and I certainly have nothing against Pippa's arse. Showbiz is a tough place and it's full of total arseholes. So what's another between mates?

Prince Harry, Pippa's brother-in-law, was seen bopping well into the wee small hours last night at the exclusive rich boys' watering hole, Boujis, grinning like a Cheshire cat; fuelling speculation that certainly, he for one, is looking forward to the upcoming series.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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