London - It's a script crafted by descendants of Oswald Mosley's Blackshirt Fascists who doshed up plonkers in the Coalition Cabinet.
Today a former Hellfire Club treasurer described the Jubilee plot as daft and corrupt as the faux memoirs of Queen Elizabeth's DNA father the Fuherer.
Sir Olwyn Turncoat, former aide-de-camp to Mrs Thatcher, said a massive 70 year campaign had hidden the true identity of Adolf Hitler whose rise to power was spawned in the UK.
Rapture-inducing speeches created by Archbishop of C*nterbury Cosmo Lang and thriller-writer Edgar Wallace were soon lapped up by the Nazi dictator who eventually swapped roles with the King Kong author who faked his own death in 1931.
Born the son of actress Lillie Langtry and Cardinal John Newman,
Wallace fathered myriad spawn with assorted Hellfire slags, some of whom were close blood relatives of Joseph Stalin and Rudolf Hess.
One bore him triplets who each in turn have had a stab at playing the role of Queen Elizabeth following the Luftwaffe's successful murder of King George VI, his wife Elizabeth Bowes Lyon and their elder daughter Elizabeth.
The royal family died in a direct hit during the London bombing and were hastily replaced with lookalike actors as a temporary bid to shield the public from the horrible truth.
The current incarnation of Queen Elizabeth II has been a shoo-in ever since her identical triplet sister died unexpectedly during the October 1987 Great Storm of London.
She, in turn, had taken on that regal roll after Prince Philip topped the first shoo-in sister following an ugly spat about the faux House of Windsor monarchy.
Turncoat's revelations come as no surprise to insiders who have smelled a rat since September 1940.
Those same sources confidently predict that their own tarot reader's stark warning will prevail and that the IRA's impostor Queen Elizabeth 'will kick the bucket' before the Jubilee celebration weekend.
Prince Charles is 69.