Written by queen mudder
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Saturday, 26 May 2012

image for Blair's lucky rabbits feet will be confiscated before Leveson Inquiry grilling on Monday
Public grilling? Nothing to it!

London - Other amulets and talismans facing impounding are a vile [sick] of holy water personally passed by the Pope at Blair's catlick conversion ceremony.

And a lucky locket of Cherie's locks before the Old Queen Mum's funeral sent her completely bald.

Pals say the ex-Prime Monster has been rehearsing for the showdown in a discrete soundproofed lock-up somewhere in Tooting.

A professional voice coach, Olympic-standard contortionist and tarot consultant have put him through all imaginable scenarios ahead of Monday's televised testimony.

Pesky questions might include an alleged involvement in a horse racing syndicate that saw David Cameron and the Middleton family hedge their bets with a thoroughbred called Sohraab.

The nag could be distantly related to a Met mare called Raisa that saw Rebekah Brooks, David Cameron and other riders enjoy a free ride for many years.

Other lines of interrogation are rumored to include what Blair knew about what former News of the Screws editor Colin Myler described to the Inquiry as 'bombs under the newsroom floor'.

'I felt there could have been bombs under the newsroom floor but I didn't know where they were and when they were going to go off..' Myler told the Inquiry's Robert Jay QC on 15 December last year.

An incredulous Lord Leveson then asked him if he ever thought of calling the Met's Bomb Squad.

"I'm no grass, M'Lud," Myler was heard muttering, "unlike some I could mention."

Blair will take the stand at 10am Monday and swear an oath to tell the complete truth.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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