Written by queen mudder
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Friday, 25 May 2012

image for "F**k The Diamond Jubilee!" campaign set to make a killing
You bastard, George, I'm definitely not dead yet

London - An offshoot of last year's F**k The Royal Wedding anti-humbuggery club stands to win a million pounds if the Queen drops dead before next weekend's Jubilee shindig.

The F**k The Diamond Jubilee! group got odds of 25/1 on Queen Elizabeth popping her clogs by noon on Friday 1st June when the four-day royal cringefest begins.

Members managed to scrape together £40,000 which online bookies Aintgottaprayer.con readily snapped up this afternoon.

A spokesperson for the site said the bet was 'safe as houses' in the company's bank account despite reports of some 'phenomenal' tarot readings predicting the Old Dear is about to RIP very soon.

A few weeks ago the spread-betting website paid out hundreds of thousands of pounds to one lucky punter who bet on 'No Royal Baby For Kate Middleton In First Year of Marriage' just as the couple celebrated their first wedding anniversary last month.

That same gambler is believed to be the founder of the F**k The Diamond Jubilee! group which reckons the spurious 60th royal anniversary is shameless spin by Blackshirts in the Tory Party.

Other special-odds events include Prince Philip dropping dead from shock [20/1], Mrs Thatcher dropping dead in a copycat sympathy grab [14/1] and the Middletons getting carted off to jail as soon as HM is RIP at 5/1.

Prince Charles is still incontinent.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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