Written by Dan Cun
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Topics: UN, Geordies

Thursday, 24 May 2012

image for UN Mandate To Curtail Population Gets First Approval
A Geordie

The highly anticipated United Nation mandate to reduce the earth's population passed its first hurdle today after ambassadors voted to allow a general discussion on the proposed plan in August.

The mandate, if passed, will set to reduce the planet's population by three quarters (4 Billion) by the year 2085, thus hopefully restoring the world's natural resources, reducing pollution and ending world hunger.

The plan, to be passed, needs the full backing of every member nation.

The basics of the mandate will see a compulsory sterilization of over 5 Billion people, selected through a lottery system. These people will be rewarded financially and compensated for not being able to reproduce.

This sterilization will take place in the year 2050. Those selected will be between the ages of 14 and 30 only.

Each nation will agree to an appropriate proportion of its population to be entered into the lottery, thus ensuring that, for example, every one born in Belgium is sterilized, thus ending the Belgian race.

Some groups though have expressed concern for this. A small group of people from the UK claim they have uncovered government plans that while maintaining the British race would eventually lead to the extinction of a sub-race of people know as "Geordies" who speak their own language, eat their own delicacies and worship a man/god known as "Bonny Lad".

A Geordie spokesman said "Whyayemon, haddawayandshite, divint fink nah dinnie no oot aboot this plan, when the boot cums in, aye, divint man, eckythump…divint."
Through a translator it was ascertained that the spokesman had access to Top Secret government files.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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