Written by Jaggedone
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Tuesday, 22 May 2012

image for Eddie Stobart lands outer-space trucking contract!
Wrong colour but right direction; Eddie Stobart will soon be "over the moon"

Eddie Stobart has conquered the UK, Ireland and Europe and now the company plans to conquer outer-space! A latest space-probe bringing goods to the space station was done by a private logistic company and that has opened the floodgates for private companies to offer their services in the future.

Eddie was first in line when the contracts were being distributed and he came out as the Nr 1 candidate because he's cheap, efficient and his trucks are pretty too.

Eddie Stobart are having several rockets built all in the same colours as their trucks and every one of them will be given a female name. The first one is to be called Venus (pretty cheesy, but then again so is Eddie). The second one is to be called "The Virgin Mary" beecause Sir Richard Branson wants a piece of the action too!

The first Eddie Stobart rocket launch is planned for 2013 and they have promised to fly Robin Gibb's (RIP) ashes into space, release them and over their orbital loudspeakers play a booming rendition of "Staying Alive" (shame he couldn't!)

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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