Written by queen mudder
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Thursday, 17 May 2012

image for Fury at London Olympics twenty quid club sandwich
Wash it down with a £4 bottle of water filled from an Olympic Park standpipe

London - Two slices of Blunderloaf and some chopped 'n' shaped spam will set you back a fiver at this year's Games.

Or try the London 2012 Club Sandwich where a mouthwatering £20 gets you exactly the same but with extra spam and a dollop of coleslaw [yuck] made with a balsamic vinegar jus.

This morning's official tasting of the Olympics snack menu saw human guinea pigs retching at the hard-to-swallow prices - like £3.50p for a bag of Authentic London Pub sawdust-shavings crisps.

Wash it down with a four quid bottle of water - filled from an Olympic Park stand-pipe into a logo-emblazoned 500ml plastic bottle that's been recycled from some poor sod's domestic crap.

Of course the bring-your-own brigade is being catered for with an outright ban on all home imported food.

Responding to the criticism London 2012 organisers said Games goers are bound to be delighted to do their patriotic duty and cough up £17.99p for a measly kebab.

Meanwhile at the government's hospitality box officials will munch on complimentary caviar, fois gras and truffles while sipping from crystal goblets of vintage champagne.

"Let them eat cake!" is the Games clarion cry.

A free slice of Battenberg for all Fatty Mountbatten's spawn.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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