Written by asphyxiation
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Thursday, 17 May 2012

The UK Border Force came under strong criticism yesterday after queues at Heathrow Terminal 5 hit record highs.

A spokesman for the UKBA defended its' members in a statement released earlier today. He added; " We are doing absolutely all we can to bring these queues down to a acceptable level under very difficult circumstances. We haven't seen this many UK Nationals trying to flee the country in one go since C4 stated showing that property show ten years ago and everyone buggered off to France".

In related news Home Secretary Theresa May defended the Governments record after it was revealed that nearly 4000 foreign criminals due for deportation had simply disappeared . She said; "Although we understand their frustration at the length of time it can take for individual hearings to take place, we take a very dim view of these criminals leaving the country by their own accord".

Lib Dem Leader Nick Clegg was unavailable for comment.

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