Written by IainB
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Thursday, 17 May 2012

image for Obese becomes a politically incorrect term
You can't call me obese any more!

Calling somebody obese when they are so overweight that they require a reinforced sofa has been deemed unhelpful, and the search is on for more helpful terms.

"People know that they're carrying excess weight," said Penny Schlecht, language co-ordinator for Offend No-one, the politically correct movement. "Labelling them with a medical term that is indicative of health problems and death is not going to motivate them."

The initially favoured term was Person Obliged to Restrict Calories Consumed due to Excessive Roundness. However, this was too long, and inevitably was abbreviated to PORCCER.

"We've got to be very careful," said Schlecht. "We want to motivate people to lose weight, but not categorize them with an offensive term."

Offend No-One have discarded other terms, such as flabby, corpulent, tubby, portly, bubbly, fatty, plump and lard-arse as also being unhelpfully offensive.

"It turns out," said Schlecht, "that there are far many more offensive terms for being fat than there are for being thin. This shows that excess weight is an area prime for discrimination through language."

The British Medical Institute wish to retain the use of the word Obese, as it is a medical term, with clearly defined definitions.

"I'd say it's political correctness gone mad," said BMI spokesman, Adie Pose. "However, I recently joined the cliché society, so I can't. Additionally, I don't think we're allowed to use the word 'mad'. So I'll restrict myself to saying that it's stupid."

Offend No-one have been looking for a simple phrase that indicates an excess of weight, but yet is affirming, positive and shows the direction that the overly fleshy should take. After several months of committee meetings involving several top advertising agencies, they have finally coined the term for portly, pudgy, spare-tired fatties: "pre-dieter".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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