Written by queen mudder
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Wednesday, 16 May 2012

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One hundred billion squid

London - Last year's royal wedding hexed the economy and plunged the UK into double dip recession 'like wot satirists predicted back in 2008'.

Today a new warning by the Bank of England Governor lays blame squarely on the Queen.

The octogenarian freeloader and her extended dysfunctional family has already cost the taxpayer one hundred billion squid.

Her spurious Diamond Jubilee Holiday means yet another day's earnings will go straight down the toilet.

And the great unwashed masses will soon forget why they ever got the extra day off in the first place.

"Talking of calamari we mustn't forget the Duke of Edinburgh," Sir Mervyn King added tonight.

"Don't you think it ever so slightly suspicious that in 65 years of marriage to Phil the Greek HM has never actually visited GREECE?

"Stands to reason why that country's going to the dogs."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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