Written by queen mudder
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Sunday, 13 May 2012

image for Stinkhorn fairy ring sprouts on No 10 lawn
Goblin it: Tory fun guy's wife is a penny bun aficionado

London - A circular fungal formation of Phallus impudicus hybrids has materialised in the PM's garden following weeks of downpours on Drowning Street's necrotic zone turves.

The foul-smelling sticky mushroom is notorious in rooting from minute dermatophytic onychomycosis fungal nail spores, spread via dodgy trainers and other people's dirty socks.

Commenting on the nauseating stench a No 10 spokeman said the fungus might have first sprouted during Andy Coulson and/or Rebekah Brooks' televised testimony at the Royal Caughts of Justice last week.

Just one rancid whiff had the Cabinet Secretary retching as local Whitehall 'fun guy' David Cameron reached for his inhaler after blaming Buckingham Palace slurry for the godawful stench.

Folklore describes the rings as gateways into elfin kingdoms ruled over by wicked Prime Monsters like Mrs Thatcher and Tony Blair.

"It's where the Tories buried the missing Brinks Matt bullion," one precious metals expert warned this afternoon, "maybe even Shergar and Lord Lucan too."

Samantha Cameron is a penny bun aficionado and cooks loose morels for her tasty suppers attended by party wannabes with a spare quarter million pounds stashed away for a rainy Tory day.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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