Written by IainB
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Saturday, 12 May 2012

image for Bank robbed...by a gorilla, nobody saw a thing
You aint seen me, right?

The Dorking high street bank, Dorking High Street Bank of Dorking, was robbed on Friday morning by a daring bank robber. Although later analysis of the CCTV footage clearly showed the robber, nobody in the bank saw the robber, and the vast majority of people watching the CCTV footage didn't see the bank-robber either, until he was pointed out.

"We believe that we are dealing with a psychological criminal," said Detective in Charge, DI Dick Richards. "Somebody who knows his, or her, way around a psychology case study. They probably know the background to Pavlov's Dogs. They're probably intimate with their inner ego."

The criminal that the police are searching for robbed the bank while wearing a gorilla suit.

"The suit effectively made the criminal invisible," said Richards. "Countless psychological studies have shown that somebody running across the field of view wearing a gorilla suit will not be seen by over ninety percent of the observers. Even observant observes will not observe the obvious."

Man runs past in a gorilla suit.

This clever criminal has used this remarkable facet of the human psyche to be blinded by gorilla suits to rob the Dorking High Street Bank of Dorking in broad daylight with hundreds of people around.

"We believe they deliberately targeted the bank when it was at its busiest because the more people who were watching, the more invisible he was," said Richards.

Police have issued a description of the person they wish to question.

"He is tall, or short, or of medium build, with broad shoulders that could be narrow or medium," said Richards. "And he or she or person of indeterminate gender, is wearing a gorilla suit. We would ask members of the public that if they see a person in a gorilla suit that they contact us immediately. However, due to the invisibility of people in gorilla suits, we believe that this is one crime that will go unpunished."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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